Are you looking for signs your husband is gay? just know that I've been where you are.
When I was 41 years old, I found out that my husband was gay. I was not only devastated, but I couldn't help asking myself how I could not have known. Wouldn't there have been obvious signs my husband was gay? After much research I realized that most gay married men are masters at concealing their sexual orientation. Their wives and girlfriends are usually the last to know.
The Centers for Disease Control (and Prevention), CDC, estimates that at least 4,000,000 women have been involved with men that have had sex with other men! That's a lot of us! Most of us never even see it coming.
Here is another killer statistic: according to the Family Pride Coalition, 20 percent of all gay men in America are in heterosexual marriages.
So…what are the signs your husband is gay? Let's look at some of the signs that may indicate your husband is homosexual. First you must rule out some of the stereotypes often associated with gay men, such as being overly sensitive or caring, emotional, having a lisp or carrying himself a certain way. Just because he has some effeminate qualities does not mean that he is necessarily gay.
You can click here to download the complete list of signs your husband is gay, but here are a few:
* Suspicious non-verbal communication with other men -- a look, a touch or hug that lasts a little too long or seems to be intimate
* Possession of homosexual pornography.
* Extreme homophobic behavior, coupled with the other factors on this list, is a major sign your husband might be gay.
* If your husband continually makes "gay" jokes, or rages towards homosexuals or homosexual behavior, beware!
You Suspect Your Husband is Gay…Now What?
Despite how worried you may be that he is gay, be careful about accusing your husband until you have proof of his homosexuality. If he does not offer an explanation that is believable about his "typically gay" behavior, search deeper. You have every right to probe because it is your future and your family's well being on the line.
Hopefully, you have the means and the fortitude to handle the situation with grace and dignity.
This is especially true if you have children. You want to demonstrate to them how to handle difficult situations. There is perhaps no better opportunity to do this than when you are discovering the truth about their father.
If you really think your husband is gay, start by reading my book. If you need some advice on what to do next, email me.
Recognizing the signs your husband might be gay is step one in a long process. Take a deep breath, hold your head up high, and know that, like me, you'll survive.
Top signs your husband is gay
1. Suspicious non-verbal communication with other men -- a look, a touch or hug that lasts a little too long or seems to be intimate.
2. Possession of homosexual pornography (videos, magazines, photos stored on his computer). If your husband has consistently viewed homosexual pornography, on the computer (check the history in your internet browser!) remember that he probably would not be doing this if he did not enjoy it. It is simply too risky an activity to merely "check out".
3. Your husband's inability to be sexually aroused by you. If sexual activity steeply declines within the first few years of marriage, or if you're always more sexually aggressive than your husband, don't think it is all your fault!
4. An abundance of male friends with whom he seems to be too close or too familiar. Watch out if your husband spends too much alone time with one man or a small group of men. This is a sign that perhaps your husband is gay. At the very least, you can suspect that he is involved with his male friend(s) with a level of intimacy that he should be saved for you. Trust your instincts if he spends a great deal of time with one man or a few without inviting you to the party. If you really feel as though something strange is going on, there is probably a reason.
5. Lots of phone calls from other men. If they are men you don't know or men that your husband does not willingly tell you about (such as an old friend from high school who happened to get in touch with him), be concerned.
6. Buying or receiving expensive, intimate, or overly personal gifts from other men.
7. A consistent overreaction to anything concerning gay men -- extreme homophobic behavior. If your husband turns almost militantly angry when confronted by someone who is gay, it may indicate that your husband is gay. This doesn't make sense at first, but take a minute and think about it... People often lash out at those who embody traits they do not like about themselves. They are in fact empathizing with that person, but it doesn't come across that way.
8. A strong preference for non-typical sex.
9. Unusually high percentage of male friends who are gay. Watch out if your husband's new best friend is gay!
10. Male friends who are overly friendly.
11. A tendency for your husband to brag about gay men complimenting him on his looks.
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